WORDS AND FEELINGS

     Sometimes words mean nothing without feelings. Whenever you read something and don't like it, then it is maybe not for you. The same goes other way round, it is sometimes really difficult to write something that you don't feel. Words and feelings go hand in hand. But sometimes it can be very different like..... okay let me tell you a story!
     Here is a girl and a boy. Age old stuff, they meet, fall in love and then happily stay for ever or maybe not. But during that phase of falling the emotions are very complicated and thus understanding feelings becomes tough. So they met and gradually in the attraction phase fell... fell in the puddle of misunderstood feelings. They had words but lacked feelings. Later with time while getting wise, understood it all but now had no words! Stranded in the puddle of words and feelings, finding alphabets that spell their feelings.

A TOUR OF RE-BONDING

    I took a tour to the next city today with my best friend and it was such a beautiful experience. We went to the bus stop and got on a random bus that came first to reach the last stop. To get stranded in the middle of nowhere we got down at a stop in between on the express way. No one and nothing around, we walked for three kilometers while catching up on a chat which we had been missing out for long. With some different level of energy and a pleasant within. After spending hours wandering around, we caught a bus and got home, to remain soul sisters forever!

    With so many things and a lot of people around you sometimes feel lost. All you need is some peace within. With so many relations to handle you sometimes aren't able to take care of the close relations you share with some. Within the hustle and bustle of daily routine you don’t have time for anyone not even for your own self. So when you get a chance take a walk alone or with someone who means a lot to you. You may find some love on this duo tour, if it’s with someone you love or make your friendship just stronger with your best friend. This can take any relationship to a higher level of understanding and it’s going to be fun, trust me! For inner peace and to burst your stress just be with yourself alone.

"Re-bond with someone or simply just your own self!"

LOST

I did manage to stand up today,

After the great fall yesterday!

Running behind tomorrow,

I lost myself somewhere between today and yesterday!

THE MAZE

       Life is a maze of emotions and feelings where you lose your track and get lost in the world where you may or may not want to live. Trapped there in that part you feel good or bad about being there where you are. Emotions drag you to the ends from where a comeback is not possible. But without them you can’t move ahead because they are the source of your energy. You live for those emotions and feelings that don’t let you live like you want to. Sometimes while reading even words, do the same. They feel like a maze where there are lot of words which have a lot of meanings and it is up to us what we take in because you like reading and I like writing. And now am lost in this maze of feelings and emotions which I try to express through words but this maze makes me feel lost in the words that jumble up to form sentences to write what I feel and emote my emotions out on this canvas and thus making it difficult to understand what I really wanted to say. All I simply said is that thing, which came to your head when you read the first few sentences.

ADDICTED

     “Addictions are harmful for your health and so is emotional addiction. I am kind of emotionally addicted to you and it’s not good I know but I can’t help it you know!” I read them over and over again and each time it brought a smile on my face. This relationship was nameless and I loved it that way.

CLASHING EGOS

      It is easy to say anything to anyone and not care about them. Days don’t seem to end without the text of that someone. The hardest part of getting close to someone is the silence that comes from the other end after a fight. Close relationships don’t need a name, they all are the same. There is something different about the relationships where you are attached to someone by heart, by name or by blood. They are all the same because the person is so close to you that a day without them seems like someone taking out all the life from you. And when two egos clash and stay away waiting for the first step forward from the other end, they do nothing but kill both of them inside. We all face this in some relationship which we share with someone who eventually becomes special to us in our lives.

    Mom upset and not talking because you misbehaved, angry at dad because he hit you, a fight with your brother/sister, when you fight with your lover/ husband/ wife, may be a small argument with your close friend/best friend or that unnamed relationship that we share. Any of them when face the egos and have only silences that don’t speak and eyes that don’t meet, it’s better for one to go down open the lips and speak to sort out.

12:00

      I had been on toes all day preparing for midnight. I ran here and there to set things just right because I wanted this night to be special for him. Balloons, cake and drinks all done for tonight. All that he liked were on the menu for tomorrow. It’s his day and all I wanted him to do is smile. Masks, birthday caps and those funky party glasses all were just set right. Since dad is out of town I and mom took care for stuff to be perfect and fine. After all we love him so much we did all that he likes.

Mom kept him busy while I decorated his bedroom. With balloons all over the floor and cake set on his bed with a candle and knife. All geared up with masks and cap I patiently waited for him to come in when the clock struck twelve. In the dark room he entered all surprised. With me and mom screaming the birthday song he came and hugged us tight. When my ears heard those words,” Thank you so much didi (sister), I love you!” ,my eyes could see the hours old baby wrapped in a cloth in my hand who was now 15.

Happy Birthday my dear baby brother! :* :’)

RANDOMLY SOMETHING

     Words are my exit to a world where I want to live. They help me express the random thoughts that go on in my head. I don’t know what I write but I love to write. With so much in this head, paper is my place where I express. But sometimes I don’t know what is going on but still I want to write and I wrote this poem…

The feeling when you run short of words,

I feel the same right now…

I don’t know why but I feel like writing…

Writing what? I don’t know!

Neither have I known what to write…

The pen goes on,

And I write…

It feels good to write,

Even if you don’t know what to write!

Happy reading! Now go write something!

TOMORROW WITHOUT ME

Today I dream of you and me,

Holding hands walking far…

But tomorrow it maybe just you!

Today I just wanna be with you…

Maybe tomorrow you too want to!

Today my eyes keep finding you…

Tomorrow it will be you!

Today I wanna touch you…

And tomorrow when you want to,

I maybe cold there down on the bed!

I had been waiting for you…

You got a little late!

But that's okay…

Today if we aren't together,

Tomorrow our souls shall be!

THE PIZZA BOY

      So today is my first day at the job as a pizza delivery guy. Nothing interesting about my job except for I will get to ride the bike like a crazy jack. I have to work to support my tuition fee and with college, night shift is only thing I can take up. The work is a little down today as there is no match tonight. I got two deliveries in my area and here I go!

       Delivered the first pizza and the girl was hotter than the pizza in my hand which I got for her in less than 7 minutes. With some healthy flirting, I even got her number. Yeah! I am starting to love my new job very much. Fast biking, hot chicks and free pizzas, who wouldn't like it!

       Now the next pizza! I went on the address. It’s an isolated part of the town. It was too dark and the street lights were too dime. I saw a little girl playing outside the neighborhood house. I rang the bell several times but I think no one was home. I went and asked her if she knew Mr Ben. She told me he is in the backyard and I could go there and meet him. I went there from the small way. I saw a man sitting on the garden chair facing his back towards me. I called out twice but he didn't respond. I was walking up to him but in the dark, my leg hit a rock and I fell. There was something written that I read,

“I don’t like the pizzas, I like the pizza boys”

-Mr Ben

1920-1999

   I fell on his…..

*ting tong*

Your Pizza is here!

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

I took the route I have never taken before

For adventure to explore the unseen

Discovering the new lanes

In the same old city of trains and

planes

On the known unknown routes

With the known unknown faces

Adventuring out a Sunday afternoon!

INNER COMMOTION IN THE CALM NIGHT

 The day fell silent,

And went off to sleep…

Lights are turned off,

It is night finally…

The world has retired to bed,

Turning everything around calm and quiet…

By the window I sit,

To admire the beauty of the sky…

The night is so calm,

And I sit here with commotion within…

My mind is full of thoughts…

Thoughts of you and me…

You somewhere still care I know…

And am waiting for you to come…

Come and hug me tight,

With a promise to never say goodbye….

NIGHT BY THE WINDOW

For me and most of us night is the most peaceful time in the 24 hrs. Some prefer to sleep, some read whatever they like. It’s time for relaxation and to do whatever that makes us happy and feel pleasant after the day’s hard work. But I pity those who aren't reading this because they are caught up with some pending work or have retired to bed all used up. While I sit by the window lost in my own thoughts looking at the dust clouded sky. I have never seen stars in the sky above the city or else they could have had been the best past time at night. The mountains nearby have also taken on the blanket of night and lost in the dark. Looking at each light go off one after the other, I feel like an owl sitting up at night. Blankly looking at nothing and I call it a night!

LOVE

It's been just a while we met but feels like it has been forever

The number of times I have hit you

That many much times today I miss you

Each day learning new things

Laughing out loud on any silly thing

Little secrets that we share

My stupid jokes you bear

Kicking me out of bed at night

Saying sorry after an ugly fight

Throwing water and running after

Getting angry and stop talking

Then I cry and say sorry

Making me smile when I cry

Protecting me and guiding me on the way

You always stood by me

I promise to stand by you forever

Come what may

Today I wanna tell you that

I will love you forever ever brother

These are just not words

Sorry if I hurt you ever

You are one of those few whom I wanna lose never

Unable to express what it means

My heart is hurt and screaming

Brother like you I pray every sister gets

Am very lucky to have you just don't wanna lose you

- For my beloved brother Parth <3

THE CALL

Somewhere between night and dew,

My phone rang...

Deep inside I wanted it to be you!

But I also knew that you were gone

and it won't be you…

With the half opened I checked for

who it was…

To my surprise it was you…

With mixed feelings of fear and

excitement I picked it up…

My heart had won over your brain,

I thought you had finally realized

and would come back to me…

Words I wanted to hear were,

Those promises for life that you

once made!

But all I heard was,

I don't love you anymore and I am

gone forever…

With a sinking heart I kept the

phone…

A little later; I heard a ring,

It was my alarm clock!

All that happened until now was a

dream

A bad dream....

TONIGHT

I wanna lay down with you,

Under the star filled sky…

I wanna just be with you,

When my dreams fly high…

On the green grass,

I wanna spend the night with

you…

I lost you somewhere in the crowd,

But now all I want is you…

Your smell lingers all over me…

I can feel you around me…

I just wanna be with you

tonight…

ENTICED

            I could feel the stare. I turned around to find him staring at me. Tried to ignore him for a while but then I was Enticed. Stamping the floor with my heels, I walked up to him. He still didn't shift his glare not even a bit. Now he stared straight directly deep into my eyes. He doesn't need words to speak, his eyes told me everything. He was reading my mind through my eyes. The dark brown eyes were just too attractive to define. They reflected the pain and that is what attracted me to him.

          He wanted to desperately tell me something. I was trying to figure that out but I forgot it was just a carcass on the canvas.

" Still (had some) life"

UNDER THE BED OF STARS

        At midnight, on the grass, under those twinkling zillion stars, by the river, next to her I found my paradise. The cool breeze that touched her soft skin left goose bumps while leaving. I brushed a strand of hair from her face and stroke her pink soft cheeks. Staring deep in her eyes, I found how beautiful she was inside. She was a real beauty both in and out. I held her hand to never let her go because she was the question of which I was the answer. Being a guy I shouldn't think so much but she was beyond words to describe. All I wanted was to love her tonight.

       The dew wet the grass and time went on too fast. The first light touched her eyes and they shined bright. I turned around to pluck a flower for her. On my knees I sat to give it to her. From somewhere the mist came down. I could see nothing but just feel those soft little fingers take the flower and get lost in the mist around.

"Existence is based on belief and love is that belief"

A THOUGHTFUL NIGHT

     A serene night brings with it all thoughts about life. Yeah Life! A simple four letter word which is way beyond the four concrete walls. It's an adventurous road trip. From the hilly terrain, to the plateaus and the plains; you pass them all in your way. But something about this trip is, you don't know when to take a turn and where it ends. It's a one-way road and you can't take a U-turn. Let's not waste time thinking and just have fun. Jump in the rain water filled puddles and cross all the hurdles. Make some companion till the next turn. Put the music loud, gulp down the cold coffee and snack on those crisp chips. The trip is going to be long but not a moment without fun.

I prefer the roads I don't know…
They take me to places,
I have never been to before…
This journey is endless,
Only because the destination is unknown!

THE LASS AT THE BAR

       She was sitting right there in front of me at the far end, in the corner of the bar. She redefined hotness in that red dress. As I was admiring her physical perfection her eyes caught my attention. The kohl lined eyes and the curled up natural long lashes were better than the fairy-tale hime. She looked at me and gave me a smile. The smile and the intense look in her eyes were more powerful than any wine. When I took a visual tour of the place around, apart from me and her no one was alone. Within that minute of distraction of the people around I didn't realize she left the bar. I scanned the crowd but she had vanished somewhere. I ordered myself another drink.

      After a while, a soft voice came and whispered in my ear from behind, "Baby, it's late! Let's leave." I turned around to look at those beautiful kohl lined eyes. Yeah! This lass is already mine but today I fell in love with her for the second time..

                      "One that makes me fall in Love- YOU"

THE PREDILECTION

         Those eyes had those sparks when they saw Her. Every Tuesday as soon as he got in the bus his eyes kept searching her in the crowd. He used to manage to find a seat somewhere near her. Secretly stealing glances at her every now and then and then blushed every time she caught him. It started with a little smile, which grew to ‘hello’ and then to short conversations. He simply loved travelling by bus more because he found a reason to smile which he had lost. They sat together and chatted long till his stop arrived to go apart and wait for a week to meet again. She was an ordinary girl and so was the boy but these usual bus travelers had something unusual between them. He would keep waving a bye with all sadness in his eyes as the week-long wait thought crept in his mind. His eyes which had hardly seen the world, clearly told the world he had a crush on her. She didn't realize. She had been only a little friendly and he had fallen in love with her and her smile. For him the 18 years old She was now the reason to smile but for her He was just a 13 years old little passer-by.

"You never know when you fall in love and when you do it's not love"